AB InBev Develops Beer For Children, Recovering Alcoholics

It’s been touted as a “watered-down lemon Fanta” and “sweet dish soap” by taste testers, but the truth of the matter is, what do kids say about Ab InBev’s latest product: Hoegaarden 0,0 (or H-Zero)? Afterall, a sparkling beverage with a hint of lemon flavor(and of course 0.0% alcohol) would only be developed for children, right? The colorful packaging looks like any other soda on the store shelves, and of course we all know the 11-18 year old demographic loves shiny, fancy products; so the question is: “Why is Hoegaarden 0.0 being called ‘beer’?”

Hoegaarden 0.0 is anything but beer. What is Ab InBev’s motive? Why ruin a perfectly good name, one with a rich history, like Hoegaarden? Maybe they’re marketing this towards recovering alcoholics so those folks can still have a beverage with beer flavor, while simultaneously preventing themselves from consuming any alcohol. Charitable idea, but something tells me these companies aren’t worried about the health of their customer base

Don, over at Beer & Whiskey Brothers, puts it perfectly: “These people couldn’t brew a decent beer if their life depended on it, but they will brew a ton of shitty beer and then with their lawyers and Ad Men convince you that you love the stuff.  “

Whatever the reasoning behind this new ‘beer’ is, it remains to be seen if it will make it to the U.S. market. Hopefully, NOT. By definition, or at least in the Hoptions dictionary, beer has to have alcohol. Even ‘non-alcoholic’ beer has the slightest bit. For me, however, it’s craft beer all the way. Yes I occasionally delve into other tasteless offerings from MillerCoors and Anheuser-Busch, but time and time again I find myself saying, ‘if I’m going to drink beer it has to be good beer’ and Hoegaarden 0.0 is definitely NOT good beer.

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J.S. Lewis

Beer advocate. Beer lover. Beer enthusiast. I also care for water.

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